Sunday, April 18, 2010

Velociraptor awareness!

Today, Sunday April 18th, is Velociraptor awareness day.

What few people fail to realize is that the actual species named V. mongoliensis, while Velociraptor is actually a subfamily/genus name. The actual velociraptor is only about the size of a turkey, and may be avoided by most non-pedestrians with ease. The creature to be aware of is the Deinonychus. This is the creature that was the basis for Jurrasic park. Shortly after the films release, another even more dangerous raptor form was discovered. The Utahraptor is a monstrousity of the raptor family that should be avoided at all costs.

Though there have not been any sightings in many (million) years, that is no reason to let our guard down now. It is perfectly within their nature of these cunning and swift beasts to lie in wait for the perfect time to strike. Only through knowledge and awareness can you have any chance of surviving the First wave of Velociraptors.

"Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this "six foot turkey" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex - he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him... Mehr anzeigen, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, ffffttttt, from the other two 'raptors you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this... a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here... or here... or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know... try to show a little respect."

Be scared, and be prepared!


  1. I swear, the Raptors are everywhere, just waiting for the right moment. We've grown weak and complacent, they can't be far off.

  2. They're worse than zombies, because Zombies simply aren't that subtle.

  3. I often wonder about the possibility of zombie raptors. Are they MORE or LESS dangerous than their constituent parts?